Whoops....

So I am a bad mom....I let Mollie eat in front of the T.V. I also don't MAKE her take a nap. So on Tuesday at 6:30 Mollie was eating a healthy dinner of Chicken Nuggets, French Fries and red Kool-Aide. Mollie and I were having a very intense conversation about Sponge Bob when silent came across the living room. I called Mollie's name several times and got no answer. So I got off my butt that was glued to the couch and looked over the coffee table and found one passed out girl, chicken nugget still in her hand....

So Cute.....

I just wanted to brag on my girls....They are getting so chunky! But I love a chunky baby!!!

Going on a Road Trip....

So in 14 days we will be in Little Rock. I hope that the weather is nice. It will be fun to finally meet my in-laws. I am hoping to work on my tan while I am there. I will be putting my big ole' butt in a bathing suit and lathering myself with lotion so I will be a fat oily beached whale! But who cares...I am not going to be embarrased.

So I must ask a question. How do you deal with a family member you just can't stand? Well it doesn't even have to be a blood relative. It could be someone from your extended family or someone related by marriage. What do you do if you feel like this said person treats one child one way and then your children are treated different? I don't want to list to many details as said person may read but if you want to know just ask and I will tell!! I mean I know that the twins are young and they don't have a clue but when they get older they will see too. I am hurt and angry. My children are jsut as important. I really want to vent this off my chest but it is hard. So until the family that doesn't acknowledge my children as family comes around I will be thankful for the family that does. To my dad and Delores: You guys are great. Thank you for all you do for the Me and the girls and Clint. To my cousin Jennifer and her whole family: Thank you for all the help and being my best friend. To my aunts and uncles: You are so thoughtful and sweet, thanks for being here for me.

I am watching Golden Girls. I love that show. I always have. Ever since I was a little girl. I wonder what shows my girls will still like to watch when they are 25.

9 Years Ago.....

I lost my brother Jeff. It was a painful and mind altering event. To me Jeff was my older and "cooler" brother. He could drive before I could. He was in high school when I was only in middle school. He had older and cuter friends. He was super nice. He had his own room and phone line which I thought was so awesome. He had a car. I still remember the day he died. It started out as every other day that summer had. I was 16 with a POS Chevy Blazer my dad had bought for me. I worked at King's Dominion as a life guard. So I went to work and worked all day. I get home to find tons of people at our house. I was confused. Why would my dad be having a party and on a weekday night. I found out as soon as I walked in the door. I was numb and didn't have anything to say. My parents were overcome with grief and our house was a sad place to be. I still remember that time like it was yesterday. I even remember what I was wearing and where everyone was sitting when I walked into the house. Jeff died in a single car accident on a two lane country road. So for a while, my parents drove me where I needed to be.

Thinking about my brother makes me sad because I think about what he has missed. He missed me graduating, he missed meeting my kids, he missed so much. I want him back. He would have been such a great uncle to my kids. Mollie knows him from his pictures all around my dad's house. My step mom wears his class ring on a chain around her neck and Mollie kisses it and says "Hi Jeff". She has been to his grave and she knows that Jeff is in Heaven with Jesus. But what else can you say to her. Jeff is only someone she knows in pictures. She knows that they go to a marble stone in a graveyard to talk to Jeff. But she doesn't understand. I want to keep him alive in my mind and teach all of my girls how wonderful their uncle was.

After 9 years I am not sure what my dad and step mom feel. My step mom lost her "baby". She cried and cried for days, weeks, months after this. I was confused. What had happened? I certainly think about what Jeff would be like today? Would he be married? What would his life be like? Would he have children? How many and how old would they be? What type of work would he be doing? Would he still have golden blond hair? Would he still love heavy metal? Where would he live? So many questions and not enough answers. So for the rest of my life, a part of my life, family and memory will be forever changed.

10 weeks down...

It has been 10 whole weeks since we brought the twins home from the hospital. It has been a roller coaster ever since. The twins have certainly gotten bigger. I sometimes find myself reflecting back to when I was pregnant. Now I see pregnant women everywhere. I want to wish the women that I know a happy and uneventful pregnancy. Jennifer, Manda, Sheri and anyone else who I might have forgotten.

I have been so busy in the last week. Mollie graduated preschool, I started my babysitting for the kids next door, I had several emotional breakdowns (but I think I am better now!).

I can only hope my marriage gets gets better soon. I am not sure why things have been so stressful around here but they have. I wish I had several hours to myself oneday. Time to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I want to be able to take a hot bath for hours if I want to. I want to be able to go to the grocery store and not have to take two carts because one if filled with kids. I want to go wander around Target and not have to answer the endless questions I get from strnagers. I want to know peace and quiet. I want to have time to brush my hair. I want to sit and cry if it makes me feel better. I want to put on perfume and not have it overshadowed by the smell of baby poop or baby vomit. I want to sleep for a night and not wake up by the "baby alarm clock". I want to have "ME" time.

So not to make this post depressing, I will change to mood. My baby is a graduate. Well a graduate of Pre-School! Tuesday was the "ceremony" and it was very nice. Mollie got her diploma and she also got a special award from Stafford County for being a great "Peer Model"! I am very proud of her for all of her accomplishments and how much she has learned this year. I know in just the blink of an eye she will be graduating from High School. Where do the years go? Clint bought Mollie a pool. It is a nice little pool for the back yard. She loves it. She would live in the pool if we let her.

Time is not on my side

Well I finally found a moment to update. So let's see....Saturday we took a family trip to Maymont Park in Richmond. It was a nice time but it was HOT. We walked and walked and even hiked up a steep dirt trail with the double stroller and a barefoot Mollie. Needless to say we were whipped when we got home. After we get home we realize that our air conditioner had gone out yet again. It was 89 degrees in our house. So the kids and I went to our neighbor's house and Clint talked to the air condition repair guy on the phone. He walked him thru how to get the unit to work again. So we now have air again until the unit wants to break again!

Sunday was church day and I must say another great day. Clint went to work after church and Mollie off to a birthday party. The twins and I just laid around being lazy! I thought about cleaning the house but thought against it. I just wanted to be lazy. So laze about the house I did. Well I did make it to prayer service at 6:30 at the new site for our church. It is within walking distance and I am super excited about it.

Today I started my "job"!!! It is babysitting two kids two days a week. The little girl is 5 and the little boy almost 3. Man they are a handfull! I am going to enjoy the couple of buck a week but I am not sure if the money is worth my sanity! So now I sit and type. I am thinking about the millions of Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches I have to make for Mollie's graduation picnic tomorrow! That should be fun!

I will be cleaning out the girl's room this week. I am hoping to make room for the second crib to go up. The twins scoot in the crib now. I know it is not intentional but they end up opposite of how I put them. I want to be able to sell things in the yard sale this weekend that are no longer being used and also free up space. So now I need to go get another crib matteress.

I am watching "Hell's Kitchen". What a great show. I am hooked on reality shows. I have no life and I live my life thru these shows!

Well off to decide if I can procrastinate some more!

Mama said there'd be days like this....

You know the kind that you have done so much but feel like nothing got done. I had take Mollie to school in Stafford then to the courthouse in Spotsylvania then over to the hospital then back home then back over to Mollie's school to pick her up. Sice returning from picking Mollie up, I have been lazy and just hanging out on the couch. It is too hot to go outside and I don't want to drive anywhere so we are hanging out in the house. I usually leave on MSNBC or FoxNews during the day but today it was consumed with Paris Hilton drama. I mean is that newsworthy?

Now that the weekend is upon us, I am going to enjoy my family and hope we get out of the house and do something. I want to plan a yard sale but my neighborhood doesn't getg much traffic. I love going to yard sales and I think it is about time that I have one. The twins had billions of premie clothes and Mollie has tons of stuff to be sold and heck I might see what I have in mine. I am not sure what else I have to sell but I know I could really de-clutter this house and make some money!

Can someone get post-partum depression months after the birth of their child/ren? I think I have just developed this. Yet another self-diagnosis! I mean maybe it is just me and because I am in this house for so long during the day and most of it is by myself with the kids. I feel alone. Sometimes I feel like the little lost puppy looking for his owner. I feel like I am screaming at the top of my lungs but nobody hears me.

Well it is off to play Guitar Hero before the babies wake up.