Back to the daily Bump & Grind!!!

And no I am not talking about how babies are made! I am talking about work. I was supposed to start today but IBM was dragging their feet on paperwork so I will be going back tomorrow. Am I ready? How much am I going to miss the kids? A BUNCH!!! Is my cousin, a mother of four with number 5 on the way, who teaches school for a living going to be able to handle my three girls? Will I only make it a month before I realize that at home with my girls is where I need to be? So many questions with very few answers at this time!

OK so in other news, Clint is considering jobs in other places. And no I don't mean still in Virginia. He is really looking into Little Rock. He wants to be back home. He wants the cheaper costs of everything and the no traffic. I am scared and excited. I am nervous and ready. I am happy and sad. Does that make sense? Can I be so conflicted in my feelings. I mean after the week we spent down there, I could see myself living in a small town. But how can I leave the place that I was born and raised (all except from the ages of 17-18 when I was in San Diego and Michigan) and a town in which I know all the short cuts to get me where I need to go without traffic. How can I leave family and friends?

We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

Yes back to the daily bump and grind. Vacation for us is over. What a great time we had. The weather was OK (it rained nearly everyday) but the storms were short and well needed! The week was full of swimming, fishing, bowling, sun tanning or sun burning (you pick), talking, picking veggies and fruits from the garden, eating yummy food, relaxing, fellowship and good times. The 16 hour drive to Little Rock was done mostly by Clint even though I drove over 200 miles from Bristol, TN to Nashville, TN from about 12 midnight to almost 3 in the morning. We arrived in Little Rock at 9 in the morning on Tuesday! It was so nice to meet my father-in-law, step-mother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and nephew! Oh and the 5 dogs scattered between my inlaws! I have pictures but they aren't uploaded because I am lazy and the camera is in 1 of the 25 bags! My new focus is Vacation Bible School. Then a week from today it will be back to work for me. I am nervous and excited. Kind of the feeling I remember on the first day of school. I am vowing to update my blog more. I know it seemed as though I dropped off the face of the planet but I am here and going strong!

Happy 4th of July (on the 3rd)

So I haven't updated in a while. It has been from lack of time. I have been BUSY. Well that and suffering from migranes! But I am better now. Let me officially announce my news. No I am not pregnant! I am returning to work. The feeling is bitter sweet but IBM has a project going on that they want me to work on and the are offering more (and when I say more, I mean MORE) money. I guess that is the only reason I am going. I am going to miss the girls but my mom is going to keep them so that will make me feel better and she could really use the money. So that is it. Back to work I go. Wish me luck. Oh and have a great holiday!

Whoops....

So I am a bad mom....I let Mollie eat in front of the T.V. I also don't MAKE her take a nap. So on Tuesday at 6:30 Mollie was eating a healthy dinner of Chicken Nuggets, French Fries and red Kool-Aide. Mollie and I were having a very intense conversation about Sponge Bob when silent came across the living room. I called Mollie's name several times and got no answer. So I got off my butt that was glued to the couch and looked over the coffee table and found one passed out girl, chicken nugget still in her hand....

So Cute.....

I just wanted to brag on my girls....They are getting so chunky! But I love a chunky baby!!!

Going on a Road Trip....

So in 14 days we will be in Little Rock. I hope that the weather is nice. It will be fun to finally meet my in-laws. I am hoping to work on my tan while I am there. I will be putting my big ole' butt in a bathing suit and lathering myself with lotion so I will be a fat oily beached whale! But who cares...I am not going to be embarrased.

So I must ask a question. How do you deal with a family member you just can't stand? Well it doesn't even have to be a blood relative. It could be someone from your extended family or someone related by marriage. What do you do if you feel like this said person treats one child one way and then your children are treated different? I don't want to list to many details as said person may read but if you want to know just ask and I will tell!! I mean I know that the twins are young and they don't have a clue but when they get older they will see too. I am hurt and angry. My children are jsut as important. I really want to vent this off my chest but it is hard. So until the family that doesn't acknowledge my children as family comes around I will be thankful for the family that does. To my dad and Delores: You guys are great. Thank you for all you do for the Me and the girls and Clint. To my cousin Jennifer and her whole family: Thank you for all the help and being my best friend. To my aunts and uncles: You are so thoughtful and sweet, thanks for being here for me.

I am watching Golden Girls. I love that show. I always have. Ever since I was a little girl. I wonder what shows my girls will still like to watch when they are 25.

9 Years Ago.....

I lost my brother Jeff. It was a painful and mind altering event. To me Jeff was my older and "cooler" brother. He could drive before I could. He was in high school when I was only in middle school. He had older and cuter friends. He was super nice. He had his own room and phone line which I thought was so awesome. He had a car. I still remember the day he died. It started out as every other day that summer had. I was 16 with a POS Chevy Blazer my dad had bought for me. I worked at King's Dominion as a life guard. So I went to work and worked all day. I get home to find tons of people at our house. I was confused. Why would my dad be having a party and on a weekday night. I found out as soon as I walked in the door. I was numb and didn't have anything to say. My parents were overcome with grief and our house was a sad place to be. I still remember that time like it was yesterday. I even remember what I was wearing and where everyone was sitting when I walked into the house. Jeff died in a single car accident on a two lane country road. So for a while, my parents drove me where I needed to be.

Thinking about my brother makes me sad because I think about what he has missed. He missed me graduating, he missed meeting my kids, he missed so much. I want him back. He would have been such a great uncle to my kids. Mollie knows him from his pictures all around my dad's house. My step mom wears his class ring on a chain around her neck and Mollie kisses it and says "Hi Jeff". She has been to his grave and she knows that Jeff is in Heaven with Jesus. But what else can you say to her. Jeff is only someone she knows in pictures. She knows that they go to a marble stone in a graveyard to talk to Jeff. But she doesn't understand. I want to keep him alive in my mind and teach all of my girls how wonderful their uncle was.

After 9 years I am not sure what my dad and step mom feel. My step mom lost her "baby". She cried and cried for days, weeks, months after this. I was confused. What had happened? I certainly think about what Jeff would be like today? Would he be married? What would his life be like? Would he have children? How many and how old would they be? What type of work would he be doing? Would he still have golden blond hair? Would he still love heavy metal? Where would he live? So many questions and not enough answers. So for the rest of my life, a part of my life, family and memory will be forever changed.