Saturday, December 22, 2007

My New Home......

No Clint and I didn't move again, I am at Arkansas Children's Hospital. Why you may ask. Well let's see, NO I am not working here!!! Katelyn has been admitted with RSV. We came in thru the emergency room last night at about 730 pm. Once they triaged her and realized her O2 level was 44 they got us a room. So last night we had chest x-rays, breathing treatments, oxygen tubes, and alot of scary moments, Katelyn finally got her room upstairs. That was at 330 this morning. I am exhausted. Clint is at home with Peyton and will be up in a bit to relieve me so I can shower and eat. Please pray for Katelyn and a speedy recovery. I will update later.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Splish Splash....

So the other night while I was giving the twins their baths, I realized I did not have the ceremonial pictures of them in the tub. I called out to Clint to get me the camera and captured a few great shots.




Yesterday was Clint's 33rd Birthday! He is such an old man!!! We didn't really do much just had dinner over at his parent's house which was nice.

Peyton has learned to "crawl". Her crawl is more of an inch worm. She gets her knees up as tight as she can to her chest then launches herself forward with her hands. It is actually kind of comical. Katelyn has finally cut her first tooth. This is a bottom one and if she is anything like Peyton the other bottom one will be along soon. Peyton has 4 teeth. Two top, two bottom. Katelyn is mastering "Da Da" and "Ma Ma" and can yell those out very well.

I will be in Fredericksburg from the 7th of January until the 12th of January. Hope I am giving my friends enough notice so that we can meet up!!!!

Here are some more pics to enjoy!


Thursday, December 6, 2007

Growing, we do it everyday!!!

So the twins went to Arkansas Children's Hospital today for a check up. Great facility I must say. They have a Ronald McDonald house across the street and we stopped to donate some items that they have listed on their wish list in honor of Manda, Jason and Ada and in memory of Aleah and then off to the doctor. They gave the twinies little hospital gowns to put on and then they got their checkups. Peyton weighed 16 pounds 9 ounces and Katelyn (my little "Chunk Chunk) weighed 17 pounds 9 ounces. Both girls were 2 feet 2 inches tall! HA HA While there they got their flu shots (or the first round) and then we sat and talked with the new pediatrician. She is very nice. Kind of young and very pretty so I must remember not to bring Clint because he would be thinking of reasons to go back all the time!!!

We finally got our Christmas tree up and our house as decorated as it is going to be I guess. We have NO presents under the tree yet (Oh we have two, one for each girl from my parents) I am a big procrastinator this year. But we are getting there. This Saturday, the girls will meet Santa for the first time. Then we are venturing to find cute stockings so that we can make the girl's their First Christmas Stockings complete with their hand prints and names. I am very excited because this was my super creative idea! HA HA

Last Saturday the twins and I came to watch them light the lights at our capital building. The night was complete with a visit from Santa and fireworks. I am not quite sure how fireworks and Christmas fall in together but I am sure they must if these people from Arkansas do it! So the state photographer captured with a photo plus I got some better ones on my camera at home.HA HA

The custody thing is OK at the moment. Mollie will be coming to visit December 30th thru the 6th of January then we are back in court on the 11th. I am trying to convince her dad that she should stay for that week but he "has decided yet". I never thought I would have to ask when my own child could come visit. IT SUCKS!!!!

Glad you people in Virginia got snow! Lucky!! We won't get the "wintery mix" until January but bring it on! A paid day off for me is a good day!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Yes I did it again......

Updating the blog these days seems to have become a chore. I always start an entry and then never finish. So here I go!

The twins and I came home for Thanksgiving to visit. It only took us 19 hours to get home! I guess I can't complain because the twins slept until about 10 miles outside of Ronanoke. Since we traveled at night so the twins were good and asleep. I myself got tired but was so excited to come home that I couldn't even think of pulling over to rest. We got in at noon Wednesday and then left early Sunday morning. I took the girls for Christmas pictures on Friday and we had Mollie's 5th birthday Saturday. All in all it was a great visit.



So now I am back after the 22 hours it took us to get home. We are now going to start preparing for Christmas. I am not sure what everyone is getting but I am sure somehow Santa will find a way!

I would like to say Congratulations to my cousin Jennifer and her husband Jimmy and Kendall, Jordan, Ryan and Logan on the birth of their daughter/sister Elizabeth "Ellie" Grace. She was born Sunday at 4:59 p.m. and weighed 5 pounds 4 ounces and was 17.5 inches long. Not bad for a 5 week early baby!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I'm Baaaaaaaaack.....

So I just realized that it had been weeks since I updated my blog. I have been really busy with work and things so I am just finding time to write. My new task is selling Avon. I like the fact that I can make some extra cash in time for Christmas and I am not bothered to meet quotas and such. I am still working my "full time" job but this is my part time thing. I have my own website that you can order from and right now all shipping is free. Take a look! www.youravon.com/daniellesmall

In twin news, Peyton still has one tooth. No new pearly whites have came thru the gums. Katelyn has decided that she wants to start talking. She says "Da Da Da Da Da Da" over and over. I am still working on "Ma Ma Ma Ma". I am also using the sign for milk with the girls. I think it will be great if they can use signs as well as talk when they get older. Mollie enjoys using sign that she learns at school.

My job is going well still. I am in charge of the background and finger prints from all school employees thru out the state. This means that once they come back from the FBI and Arkansas State Police I get to see if they have rap sheets! That part is kind of cool but also sad when you see what people have and that they have applied to teach children!

Clint's job is still going well also. They are gearing up for the busy time and so there will be no leave for Clint from the 15th of November until the first of the year. I am making the drive home for Thanksgiving with the twins by myself.

Hope all is well on your side of the world. Miss you all!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Peyton's 1st.....

TOOTH finally broke thru her gums. There is only one so far on the bottom but I am sure there are more to follow.

Katelyn is still drooling up a storm and has a runny nose but no teeth yet.

As soon as the pearly white is high enough I will post a picture!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Eat Your Veggies....

If my veggies were this cute I would eat them everyday!




The twinies are "Two Peas in a Pod" for Halloween. Well they actually have their own Pods but I am trying to be creative. These pictures are from "Boo at the Zoo". Basically what we did was walk around the whole zoo and get candy from the different stops. It was OK but the twinies could have cared less. Still we did it!

So I have read three books lately that are worth mentioning. The first was The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards. Such a great book and if you have the time I really really suggest it. The other two are The Body Farm and The Tenth Justice. I am becoming a reader. I like to lay in bed at night with the twinies in bed and the TV off and just read. If you have any recommendations for good books, send them my way!

Friday, October 26, 2007

We Love the Razorbacks!



So the twinies are learning fast that they, no matter where they go in life, will be Razorback fans. Since Arkansas has no professional sports teams, the Razorbacks are the next best thing. They are the college team.

I am adding a few more pictures for your viewing pleasure.



Thursday, October 25, 2007

Give the People What They Want....

I have really been trying to add pictures to the blog however I am having some problems. I promise I will have some up soon.

Thanks guys! Miss Ya!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Life in the Slow Lane

So I am Day 3 into my new job. I am working for the Arkansas Department of Education. I work in the Professional Licensure department. So I am a Government worker and it sure is nice. My "commute" if that is what you call it is only about 10 miles from the house. And it takes me about 10 mins. to get to work once I drop the twins off at the daycare, which is right around the corner from our house. I love it.

I am a little home sick but I am adjusting well to the new area. People here are very friendly. Clint keeps telling me it is because we are in the south. I talk funny to most people here and they know instantly that I am not a native Ar-Kansan. Clint's job is going pretty well. He had to go on a business trip to Dallas already but it was a short over night thing so that wasn't to bad. Plus I like the 25% off we get on everything at Dillard's!

The twins are full of energy. They can now roll over from tummy to back and then from back to tummy. Both girls are getting up on their knees but they can't seem to pick their heavy heads up from the floor to figure out the crawling yet. They are both squealers and sweet Peyton has learned to mimic coughing so she does this everywhere. She gets "sick" all the time and once she hears someone else cough, that is her que to get "sick". It is almost comical!

Mollie seems to be doing well in school. I talk to her at least twice a day on the phone. She is super excited to be Snow White. She has informed me that she needs no wig because her hair is just like Snow White (I think it is a shade to light but Oh Well).

I am still holding off on getting the twins costumes yet. It isn't as though I am not getting them one I really just have to find a place that has something I like.

I have learned how to navigate around this city and must say I feel pretty good when I have to find somewhere I have never gone to before. We are going to go to a Fall Festival this weekend so that should be fun. Boy I miss going to Graves Mountain Lodge with Jennifer and the kids.

Well that is all the news I have from the "big city". Until I talk or see you again, be safe and happy and embrace the day!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

We Made It....

We made it to Arkansas 23 September 2007. Life there is nice and very much slower than any place around here. I am actually back in Virginia now, well at least until tomorrow when I go home. You all know the custody battle is raging. After spending the day in court, we will come back 11 January 2008. Mollie was appointed a Guardian Ad Litum that works in the best interest of her. So her Guardian (attorney) had done a home visit with Mollie and her father at her father's home, he lives with his mom and her "Domestic Partner" and he had visited with Mollie as well. I had talked to him on the phone and also taken pictures of our new house and all the new stuff around us. So we get to court yesterday, he recommends to the judge that Mollie be with me. However the judge does not agree. AHHHHH What The F*%#. So now I am on the hunt for the BEST Family Law Lawyer in town so I can finally get my baby home. I do get her for Thanksgiving and 1/2 of Christmas break but man I just want her home. If you know of a outstanding lawyer...drop me a line.....I need one BAD!!! We don't have Internet at home yet but I go to my sister-in-law's coffee shop for free Wi-Fi! I will be talking soon! Miss you all!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

There's Always A Problem

So we move (or start out on the trip to move) early Saturday morning. You would think everything would be a go right? NOPE....As most of you may know, Mollie is not Clint's biological daughter even though she should be. Her father lives in Stafford and for the past year and a half has been a part of her life but not prior to that. So he decides, after months and months of talking to him and Clint and I inviting him over to work out a new "custody plan" to take to the judge, that on Tuesday (of this week) he needs an emergency hearing in front of the judge. He claims he just found out we were leaving and now is taking me to court on Friday (yeah that's tomorrow) in front of the judge and asking the judge to give him custody of Mollie. I am devastated. Right now he gets her every other weekend. What in the world is he doing this for? He lives at home with his momma, has no bills, and leaves Mollie with his mom to watch so he can party and drink and do whatever a single 29 year old does. I am sad, nervous, pissed off and confused. Why wait until the last possible day and claim you just found out? I mean back at Meet the Teacher night, Mollie's teacher told me how she had just talked to Mollie's dad and he told her that we might be moving. When the heck was back to school night? I need to research. All I know is that on Saturday morning I better have my oldest daughter in my car because the train to Little Rock is leaving.

Friday, September 14, 2007

It's About That Time.....

For me to have to say good bye to all my friends here in Da 'Burg and move to the Country!!!! Instead of the girls and I leaving in mid October, we will now be leaving next Saturday. That's right, a week from tomorrow. It is real to me now. Before I was just like "Yeah OK that sounds good." Oh well...It is exciting. I am going to miss my friends here but just know that when ever you want to come to the country we now will have a Guest Room! YEAH!! I also have discovered that I must re-learn the correct way to talk. For example: ACORN (You know falls off trees and squirrels eat them) is pronounce ACERN. A Minnow (you know bait used for fishing) is pronounced Minna. And a major street in Little Rock called Cantrell is pronounced Cantrul. I am going to have to work on these words and the many others that I have already received "HUHs" for!

Mollie thinks the only things to do in Little Rock are swim and PawPaw's pool and cheer for the Razorbacks. I can't say that I can think of much else to do from looking at different websites. But I do know there is a Wal-Mart at every corner. Sam's Clubs are also scattered in there to. Not quite sure if we will get our groceries at the Wal-Mart or the local Piggly Wiggly but I am sure they both will do just fine.

So I guess for anyone that still reads, if you want my new address just drop me a line. I don't want to make that stuff all public because you know those creepy people that troll just to get some personal info might show up in our new one horse town and kidnap me! I am sure they would realize before even leaving the driveway that I wasn't a good victim but still the whole 5 mins. before would suck.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Tis True....

We are moving...Clint is making it official at his company today. The girls and I will be staying in Fredericksburg for about 3 more weeks after he leaves. He will be leaving on the 21st or 22nd. Then he will fly back and we will pack the moving truck and take off. That sound be around the 13th or 14th of October. It is certainly a bitter sweet feeling. We have so much to do. We are going to where the living is cheaper and we will finally be able to BUY A HOUSE!!! YEAH!!! The family and the friends here can never be replaced. I will just add to my friends! I will have to come back to Fredericksburg often as Mollie's dad lives here and my family will need to see the girls as much as possible. The move is so exciting but also scary. I am nervous and hope things go off with out a hitch! I am sure there is going to be something that happens but I pray nothing major. So I am going to close but I am going to try and have a "Good Bye See Ya Later Adios Party" before we leave....Anyone interested?

Thursday, August 30, 2007

All By Myself.....

So I am home with the girls all by myself until Sunday night. Clint is out of town. I haven't been alone with them overnight before. Well not that I can remember in the past almost 6 months. It is weird. I miss Clint. Even though sometimes when we get home we sit in separate rooms watching different movies or T.V. shows. But tonight I miss him. I had to go to "Meet the Teacher" night at Mollie's school. It is her same teacher from last year but I still had to go get the outrageous school supply list. So I guess tomorrow I will be at Wal-Mart in all the madness getting school supplies. I am working from home until Wednesday. It will be like an extended vacation.

The twinies are doing great. Getting bigger and more interactive every day. We have a nice little routine down. They go to bed at 8 p.m. and sleep until 5:30 a.m. I guess I can't ask for more at this point. They smile and giggle and have learned what their hands are and that they can hold a bottle. Peyton loves to sleep with a blanket next to her cheeks. It is so cute. Katelyn is still a piglet and loves to eat. She is also going to be the baby that puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. The twinies are for sure more fun than when we first came home.




Mollie is a ham. She is so ready for school to start. She can't wait to see her friends. She has discovered Lunchables. I think they are a waste of money but she loves them and has asked to take them everyday for lunch. Let's hope there is a big sale on them some where.



I would like to wish Manda, Jason and Ada a good vacation. I know they will have so much fun. I also want to congratulate Stacey, John, Jack & Caroline (the last two are twins but no they are not identical!!!) on the birth of their daughter/baby sister, Lauren Jenna. I know that some of you may not know them but they are all friends of mine that are in the twins club.

Manda, hope your pregnancy is going great and there are no troubles. Jennifer (that's my cousin) I can't wait for you to have your baby girl...I need to empty the twins closet.

I can't wait for the twins club yard sale next weekend. The twins need fall/winter clothes terribly.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen.....

Well after one day of keeping the twins, my mom said she couldn't do it. So at home I sit. Thank goodness my job is being great. I am allowed to work from home until next Wednesday so that I have time to find a new sitter. So if you know of a sitter that wants 5 month old twins and part time 4 and 1/2 year old, please get in touch with me.....I am at a loss right now and we CAN NOT afford a daycare center. I really like working from home, it is great. I just have to find a solution.

Mollie starts Pre-School next Tuesday. Next year will be the tough year, I will have to put her on the bus for Kindergarten. The twins are trying to roll over and the giggle now. It is so cute.

Well I am supposed to be working so I hope that someone still reads this!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Look at the Time!!!

Yeah that is right....I am updating my blog at 3:49 a.m. Why, you may ask...Well I woke up at 2 something and just couldn't sleep then about 3 something Peyton woke up fussy. I brought her dowstairs for a bottle and by the time she finished, she was asleep and I was wide awake. I have discovered that there is NOTHING on T.V. this late or should I say early in the morning! This reminds me of my days in the hospital wondering if and when the twins would make their debut. The sleepless nights due to machines going off or a nurse visit. Hard to believe that the whole hospital experience started 5 months ago today. I went in for a routine kidney infection and ended up staying. I was in their for my stinkin' birthday!

Is it the time that makes me feel like I am rambling? I know it can't be from nothing to talk about. My work is going good. I have been approached for a potential new job. No talk about it yet but it would be something I would LOVE to do! Clint's new job hunt is going well. He has two potential leads. One is for Altell in Little Rock (that is their headquarters) but who the heck uses Altell? The other is for the Arkansas state government. Please pray for us. This would be one of the best things for our family right now.

Well I think I am off to pick out clothes for today and try to get 1 and 1/2 hours of sleep before it is time to wake back up! Have a great day!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Let there be sleep.......

I did it....Finally.....The twins now sleep in their own cribs. I kept talking about it and talking about it but never did separate them. Finally last night, they were put to bed in their own cribs. They only woke up once and when I went in to their room, I just gave them each their binkie and they went right back to sleep. We rearranged the girl's room (well Clint did and I just gave my opinions!)and the room looks so much bigger now. It is amazing! I hope that they will get used to the new sleeping arrangements soon.

I am trying to locate a baby sitter. I need a full time sitter in 2 weeks. My cousin has been keeping the girls and I love her keeping them but she is a teacher and has to go back to work and Clint does not want my mom to keep the girls. They had a falling out a while back and the tension is still there. I don't know what else to do. We can't afford a day care center. I want a good cheap babysitter. Is their such a thing?

I left the girls (all three of them) downstairs last week or sometime in the past few weeks while I ran to change clothes and use the bathroom. When I came downstairs, my three girls had been transformed into PIRATES!!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Tales from the Working World...

So back to work I came and man does it feel good. You know to get up every morning and actually take a shower with the purpose of going somewhere. I could do without having to dress up but there are days that it feels nice. I think I am adjusting well! I feel better and less depressed these days. I like to have a few moments of quiet after I drop Clint off at work and while I am on my way to my office. It is wonderful. But I do have regrets. I want to still be able to see the kids. So my desk is scattered with pictures of the girls. My desktop on my computer is a picture of the three girls. I have a sign up on my desk that says "YES they are twins, YES they are both girls, NO they are not identical". Keeps me from having to repeat myself time after time.

So I haven't been good about updating and I vow to keep myself on track and stay updated. I realized that several other moms have started blogs recently and I must say I enjoy reading them. I also enjoy Manda's blog. She is an eloquent writer and her blog entries leave me always wanting to read more. I feel like when I returned to work, I lost touch with the SAHMs that I had met and enjoyed (and still enjoy) hanging out with. But just know ladies (if you even still read this) I can call in sick any day to hang out and grab lunch!

All the girls are doing good. The twins hit the 4 month mark yesterday. Wow can't believe that 4 months has past. We rearranged the girls room last night while Mollie was gone and man it looks so much better. I can't wait for her to see it. Mollie will be going back to school in less than a month. She is so eager and ready. She loves school. Will she keep that mentality until she graduates and heads off to college? I hope so. I always liked school so hopefully she gets that gene from me!

I must put this in my blog. I must say goodbye to an Angel that I never had the chance to meet. Hunter Franklin Ojibway was born and passed away yesterday, August the 6th, 2007. Hunter is my cousin's son. He was born 14 days after his due date but God wanted him to come home! He wanted to add one more beautiful angel. So in closing I will say, Rest In Peace Sweet Hunter. I am sorry I never got to meet you but I know that oneday I will be coming home and we will get to meet.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Back to the daily Bump & Grind!!!

And no I am not talking about how babies are made! I am talking about work. I was supposed to start today but IBM was dragging their feet on paperwork so I will be going back tomorrow. Am I ready? How much am I going to miss the kids? A BUNCH!!! Is my cousin, a mother of four with number 5 on the way, who teaches school for a living going to be able to handle my three girls? Will I only make it a month before I realize that at home with my girls is where I need to be? So many questions with very few answers at this time!

OK so in other news, Clint is considering jobs in other places. And no I don't mean still in Virginia. He is really looking into Little Rock. He wants to be back home. He wants the cheaper costs of everything and the no traffic. I am scared and excited. I am nervous and ready. I am happy and sad. Does that make sense? Can I be so conflicted in my feelings. I mean after the week we spent down there, I could see myself living in a small town. But how can I leave the place that I was born and raised (all except from the ages of 17-18 when I was in San Diego and Michigan) and a town in which I know all the short cuts to get me where I need to go without traffic. How can I leave family and friends?

Monday, July 16, 2007

We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

Yes back to the daily bump and grind. Vacation for us is over. What a great time we had. The weather was OK (it rained nearly everyday) but the storms were short and well needed! The week was full of swimming, fishing, bowling, sun tanning or sun burning (you pick), talking, picking veggies and fruits from the garden, eating yummy food, relaxing, fellowship and good times. The 16 hour drive to Little Rock was done mostly by Clint even though I drove over 200 miles from Bristol, TN to Nashville, TN from about 12 midnight to almost 3 in the morning. We arrived in Little Rock at 9 in the morning on Tuesday! It was so nice to meet my father-in-law, step-mother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and nephew! Oh and the 5 dogs scattered between my inlaws! I have pictures but they aren't uploaded because I am lazy and the camera is in 1 of the 25 bags! My new focus is Vacation Bible School. Then a week from today it will be back to work for me. I am nervous and excited. Kind of the feeling I remember on the first day of school. I am vowing to update my blog more. I know it seemed as though I dropped off the face of the planet but I am here and going strong!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Happy 4th of July (on the 3rd)



So I haven't updated in a while. It has been from lack of time. I have been BUSY. Well that and suffering from migranes! But I am better now. Let me officially announce my news. No I am not pregnant! I am returning to work. The feeling is bitter sweet but IBM has a project going on that they want me to work on and the are offering more (and when I say more, I mean MORE) money. I guess that is the only reason I am going. I am going to miss the girls but my mom is going to keep them so that will make me feel better and she could really use the money. So that is it. Back to work I go. Wish me luck. Oh and have a great holiday!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Whoops....

So I am a bad mom....I let Mollie eat in front of the T.V. I also don't MAKE her take a nap. So on Tuesday at 6:30 Mollie was eating a healthy dinner of Chicken Nuggets, French Fries and red Kool-Aide. Mollie and I were having a very intense conversation about Sponge Bob when silent came across the living room. I called Mollie's name several times and got no answer. So I got off my butt that was glued to the couch and looked over the coffee table and found one passed out girl, chicken nugget still in her hand....



Wednesday, June 27, 2007

So Cute.....



I just wanted to brag on my girls....They are getting so chunky! But I love a chunky baby!!!

Going on a Road Trip....

So in 14 days we will be in Little Rock. I hope that the weather is nice. It will be fun to finally meet my in-laws. I am hoping to work on my tan while I am there. I will be putting my big ole' butt in a bathing suit and lathering myself with lotion so I will be a fat oily beached whale! But who cares...I am not going to be embarrased.

So I must ask a question. How do you deal with a family member you just can't stand? Well it doesn't even have to be a blood relative. It could be someone from your extended family or someone related by marriage. What do you do if you feel like this said person treats one child one way and then your children are treated different? I don't want to list to many details as said person may read but if you want to know just ask and I will tell!! I mean I know that the twins are young and they don't have a clue but when they get older they will see too. I am hurt and angry. My children are jsut as important. I really want to vent this off my chest but it is hard. So until the family that doesn't acknowledge my children as family comes around I will be thankful for the family that does. To my dad and Delores: You guys are great. Thank you for all you do for the Me and the girls and Clint. To my cousin Jennifer and her whole family: Thank you for all the help and being my best friend. To my aunts and uncles: You are so thoughtful and sweet, thanks for being here for me.

I am watching Golden Girls. I love that show. I always have. Ever since I was a little girl. I wonder what shows my girls will still like to watch when they are 25.

Monday, June 25, 2007

9 Years Ago.....

I lost my brother Jeff. It was a painful and mind altering event. To me Jeff was my older and "cooler" brother. He could drive before I could. He was in high school when I was only in middle school. He had older and cuter friends. He was super nice. He had his own room and phone line which I thought was so awesome. He had a car. I still remember the day he died. It started out as every other day that summer had. I was 16 with a POS Chevy Blazer my dad had bought for me. I worked at King's Dominion as a life guard. So I went to work and worked all day. I get home to find tons of people at our house. I was confused. Why would my dad be having a party and on a weekday night. I found out as soon as I walked in the door. I was numb and didn't have anything to say. My parents were overcome with grief and our house was a sad place to be. I still remember that time like it was yesterday. I even remember what I was wearing and where everyone was sitting when I walked into the house. Jeff died in a single car accident on a two lane country road. So for a while, my parents drove me where I needed to be.

Thinking about my brother makes me sad because I think about what he has missed. He missed me graduating, he missed meeting my kids, he missed so much. I want him back. He would have been such a great uncle to my kids. Mollie knows him from his pictures all around my dad's house. My step mom wears his class ring on a chain around her neck and Mollie kisses it and says "Hi Jeff". She has been to his grave and she knows that Jeff is in Heaven with Jesus. But what else can you say to her. Jeff is only someone she knows in pictures. She knows that they go to a marble stone in a graveyard to talk to Jeff. But she doesn't understand. I want to keep him alive in my mind and teach all of my girls how wonderful their uncle was.

After 9 years I am not sure what my dad and step mom feel. My step mom lost her "baby". She cried and cried for days, weeks, months after this. I was confused. What had happened? I certainly think about what Jeff would be like today? Would he be married? What would his life be like? Would he have children? How many and how old would they be? What type of work would he be doing? Would he still have golden blond hair? Would he still love heavy metal? Where would he live? So many questions and not enough answers. So for the rest of my life, a part of my life, family and memory will be forever changed.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

10 weeks down...

It has been 10 whole weeks since we brought the twins home from the hospital. It has been a roller coaster ever since. The twins have certainly gotten bigger. I sometimes find myself reflecting back to when I was pregnant. Now I see pregnant women everywhere. I want to wish the women that I know a happy and uneventful pregnancy. Jennifer, Manda, Sheri and anyone else who I might have forgotten.

I have been so busy in the last week. Mollie graduated preschool, I started my babysitting for the kids next door, I had several emotional breakdowns (but I think I am better now!).

I can only hope my marriage gets gets better soon. I am not sure why things have been so stressful around here but they have. I wish I had several hours to myself oneday. Time to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I want to be able to take a hot bath for hours if I want to. I want to be able to go to the grocery store and not have to take two carts because one if filled with kids. I want to go wander around Target and not have to answer the endless questions I get from strnagers. I want to know peace and quiet. I want to have time to brush my hair. I want to sit and cry if it makes me feel better. I want to put on perfume and not have it overshadowed by the smell of baby poop or baby vomit. I want to sleep for a night and not wake up by the "baby alarm clock". I want to have "ME" time.

So not to make this post depressing, I will change to mood. My baby is a graduate. Well a graduate of Pre-School! Tuesday was the "ceremony" and it was very nice. Mollie got her diploma and she also got a special award from Stafford County for being a great "Peer Model"! I am very proud of her for all of her accomplishments and how much she has learned this year. I know in just the blink of an eye she will be graduating from High School. Where do the years go? Clint bought Mollie a pool. It is a nice little pool for the back yard. She loves it. She would live in the pool if we let her.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Time is not on my side

Well I finally found a moment to update. So let's see....Saturday we took a family trip to Maymont Park in Richmond. It was a nice time but it was HOT. We walked and walked and even hiked up a steep dirt trail with the double stroller and a barefoot Mollie. Needless to say we were whipped when we got home. After we get home we realize that our air conditioner had gone out yet again. It was 89 degrees in our house. So the kids and I went to our neighbor's house and Clint talked to the air condition repair guy on the phone. He walked him thru how to get the unit to work again. So we now have air again until the unit wants to break again!

Sunday was church day and I must say another great day. Clint went to work after church and Mollie off to a birthday party. The twins and I just laid around being lazy! I thought about cleaning the house but thought against it. I just wanted to be lazy. So laze about the house I did. Well I did make it to prayer service at 6:30 at the new site for our church. It is within walking distance and I am super excited about it.

Today I started my "job"!!! It is babysitting two kids two days a week. The little girl is 5 and the little boy almost 3. Man they are a handfull! I am going to enjoy the couple of buck a week but I am not sure if the money is worth my sanity! So now I sit and type. I am thinking about the millions of Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches I have to make for Mollie's graduation picnic tomorrow! That should be fun!

I will be cleaning out the girl's room this week. I am hoping to make room for the second crib to go up. The twins scoot in the crib now. I know it is not intentional but they end up opposite of how I put them. I want to be able to sell things in the yard sale this weekend that are no longer being used and also free up space. So now I need to go get another crib matteress.

I am watching "Hell's Kitchen". What a great show. I am hooked on reality shows. I have no life and I live my life thru these shows!

Well off to decide if I can procrastinate some more!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Mama said there'd be days like this....

You know the kind that you have done so much but feel like nothing got done. I had take Mollie to school in Stafford then to the courthouse in Spotsylvania then over to the hospital then back home then back over to Mollie's school to pick her up. Sice returning from picking Mollie up, I have been lazy and just hanging out on the couch. It is too hot to go outside and I don't want to drive anywhere so we are hanging out in the house. I usually leave on MSNBC or FoxNews during the day but today it was consumed with Paris Hilton drama. I mean is that newsworthy?

Now that the weekend is upon us, I am going to enjoy my family and hope we get out of the house and do something. I want to plan a yard sale but my neighborhood doesn't getg much traffic. I love going to yard sales and I think it is about time that I have one. The twins had billions of premie clothes and Mollie has tons of stuff to be sold and heck I might see what I have in mine. I am not sure what else I have to sell but I know I could really de-clutter this house and make some money!

Can someone get post-partum depression months after the birth of their child/ren? I think I have just developed this. Yet another self-diagnosis! I mean maybe it is just me and because I am in this house for so long during the day and most of it is by myself with the kids. I feel alone. Sometimes I feel like the little lost puppy looking for his owner. I feel like I am screaming at the top of my lungs but nobody hears me.

Well it is off to play Guitar Hero before the babies wake up.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Still Truckin'......

After 4 shots each the twins are a little cranky but otherwise doing O.K. It was a bit hard yesterday afternoon and evening as they were a bit cranky. Peyton weighed 10 pounds 1 ounce and Katelyn weighed 9 pounds 15 ounces. Peyton was an inch bigger in length but Katelyn has the bigger head. I just say she has a lot of brains!!! Man hard to believe that 2 months ago Peyton weighed 5 pounds 6 ounces and Katelyn was 5 pounds 4 ounces. Where has the past 2 months gone. Time has flown by. They got great reports from the doctor.

So I took all three girls to have pictures taken. I think they are going to be Father's Day presents for Clint and Grandfathers. They were O.K. The twins just need to get a little bigger for a better picture.




Today I am keeping my neighbor's grandson. This should be great. I think they want me to start keeping him. On one hand I could really use the money but on the other hand, I have a hard enough time keeping my own three kids. This should be very interesting.

I am not sure what else is happening in my world. I have noticed when I wake up that I am dizzy, weak and feel like I might pass out. I think I need to go to the doctor. I know that after I eat, I feel a lot better. I am wondering if I might have diabetes. Don't know if I do but that is my self diagnosis!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers!

To anyone who was at the Central Park Wal-Mart on June 4th at about 7:30 p.m.

I am not a freak of nature, I am a mother of twins. Yes I have two car seats placed in the shopping cart and yes that leaves no room to shop. Your glances and gawks are not needed. I have twins. Yes I said they are twins. No they are not identical and yes they are both girls. No Katelyn was not bigger just because she has the bigger face. Yes it is overwhelming and yes I am truly blessed. Please do not point or tell me that I have my hands full. If you need to stop and ask questions please don't ask something stupid. I don't need to know about your sister's hubsband's mother's friend who had twins 50 years ago. I know enough people who have twins and they can tell me what it is like. Please do not call your husband over to look because he doesn't care. Please remember that I have feelings and I am very touchy when it comes to my babies. Please look at what my girls are wearing and know that if they are in pink and purple that means they are girls. Heck even their car seats are pink. Please be sensitive to other moms that you may meet on your travels. Please don't point, laugh or say "Awwwwww" to your 16 year old friends. If you have a question please ask but please know that I have somewhere or something else to be doing and I don't want to take 3 hours out of my day to give you the "low down".

Thank you for your compliments.

Danielle

Monday, June 4, 2007

Here I go....


I am happy to say that the babies have been sleeping thru the night. I put them down at 10 and they sleep till about 5:30. Sunday they slept until about 7. It is just another step that they are growing up. They are smiling more and more everyday and becoming quite fun. They are fitting into Newborn size clothes and even wearing size 1-2 Pampers. Before I know it all three of my girls will be grown and out of the house. One day Clint will have to walk them down the aisle and give them away. I don't want that to happen to quick. I know it will. I know there was I time that I couldn't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I know there was a time that I felt like sleep was something that happened long ago and now it seems that they are just growing up before my eyes. I know that some days seem longer than others but all in all the last 2 months have flown by.

Have you ever just had so many thoughts and not sure how to make them come out. That is me these days. I think so many things during the day and then when I finally find a chance to write them they are mangled and not as clear as they were in my head. I enjoy being able to type them and let others know what is going on in my head but sometimes they aren't as clear as they should be.

My posts may seem confusing or as if I am rambling but maybe I am. Maybe I need to be able to put whatever thoughts pop in my "BIG OLE HEAD". I need to be able to have a place to put thoughts that aren't said. I need to have an outlet since I spend so much of my time with my kids. Clint is working almost always but I know that it is how we continue to live. I am not complaining but I am trying to handle life.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Random thinking and Headaches....

I have developed migraine headaches for some reason. I am not sure what has caused them but they sure do put me out. Like today, I took the girls to church and the whole time my head was pounding. It hurt so bad so when we got home, I laid down and fell asleep. When I woke up, my thoughts felt jumbled and I couldn't gather myself. I felt weird. Is that something that happens to you from lack of sleep or an incredible amount of stress? I might need glasses or maybe an operation on my brain! Maybe I need to sleep for about 24 hours straight.

Our weekend has been nice. Mollie had a baton recital thing and she did really good. The twins slept from 10 p.m. to 7:15 a.m. today. Not bad for 8 weeks. I have really been good about doing the same thing every night to ensure that there is consistency.

Clint is working so we are just laying around. I miss Clint when he works. I miss him being here with me to help me. I miss being able to sit around and watch a movie with him if we want. Can this be a reason for my jumbled thoughts? I wish that things with us were always as nice as they were this weekend. We got along so well and didn't fight. We cooked out yesterday and talked about our vacation. Clint is ready to get "home" and be around his family. You know I am also looking forward to it. When I worked I couldn't wait until the weekend or a scheduled vacation. It is almost like that now. I know when we go on vacation, there will be tons of hands ready to help with the kids.

So now on this rainy afternoon, I am washing clothes and watching Dirty Dancing. I have nothing better to do. I guess I need to get off my butt and clean up the kitchen. Well that now has to wait because I hear a baby crying upstairs.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

He loves me, He loves me not....


So today my neighbors little granddaughter came over to play with Mollie. The girls were sitting on the front porch playing My Little Ponies and I went outside to sit with them for a little while and this lady was walking up the sidewalk with a basket of flowers. She came to my walkway and said "Are you Danielle?" I told her I was and she handed me the basket of flowers. It was full of white daisies. The card reads "Hope this brightens your day as much as you have brightened mine." I was pleasantly surprised. It is things like this that make me love my husband. I am going to try and be a wonderful wife this weekend and hope that I get more flowers.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I have a great friend...

So today I walked the mall with Manda. I need to loose weight and I really enjoy her company. Ada was so sweet and full of smiles. It is nice to be friends with her. I enjoy talking to her and it is nice to know that the way I feel sometimes is normal. Her friendship means alot to me. So THANKS FOR BEING A GREAT FRIEND MANDA! We had lunch at the Panda Express and while we were there, a man asked me about my stroller. Come to find out his twins girls are in the NICU. So Manda talked to him about that. I didn't really have much to say because the twinies came home with me and weren't in the NICU but he seemed to really take in what Manda said! I hope that guy's little daughters get strong and healthy and come home soon. If I ever need to know anything about anything, I think I can ask Manda.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Baby Report Card.....


Babies fed...CHECK...Babies bathed...CHECK...Babies changed...CHECK...Babies asleep...CHECK...and all of this before 10 p.m. I have 5 minutes to spare. Mommy fed...NOPE...Mommy bathed...NOPE...Mommy tired...CHECK!!! But not complaining because now I can sit and enjoy some quiet before Clint gets home. So today was a better day! Went to the park and had fun with Manda, Ada, Cindy and Alex. It was good company and the twins seem to really like being outside. They just lay on the blanket under the tree and look around. Of course Ada loves to kiss the babies and she even calls them "Kitty"! It is fun to hang out with Manda and Cindy. They have some cute babies.

Tonight I have managed to get the twins to be awake and not cry. I put them each in a bouncer, fed them and then gave them each a bath. After I put them in their jammies we all just sat on the couch and they both just looked around and cooed. It was sweet and nice to know they can be awake and not cry without being held. I was starting to think that they were spoiled. But then I reminded myself, my babies aren't spoiled! Yeah right they are as spoiled as spoiled can be.

I am starting to adjust to not working. It is a bittersweet feeling. On one hand there is nothing I love more than spending my days caring for my kids and being on my own schedule. If I want to go to lunch with friends or wear my jammies all day, I can. I am certainly not upset about saving the $1800.00 bucks a month it would have cost me for daycare. I am not mad about saving all the money in gas to Fairfax. But then on the other hand, I miss getting out of the house everyday and going to work. I miss feeling important as far as being a career mom. I loved working. I loved my friends at work. I do not miss the traffic! I just wish there was a solution. I was thinking about taking this class at Germanna in Phlebotomy. I could get a job at the hospital at nights and still be home with them during the day and not shipping them off to a day care for someone else to raise! The class isn't that long a few months at best and isn't really that expensive. Maybe I should look into it. But is that really what I want to do? Not sure!

I am impressed with how good my downstairs looks. Clint did most of it Saturday but I did the top of my cabinets finally! It looks so good. I find myself going into the kitchen just gazing at the top of my cabinets. I probably smile when I look up there because I am just that happy with them!

Tomorrow is walk the mall with Manda! Maybe we can make this a weekly thing. I need to do something to loose this "junk in the trunk" I have since way back when. I want to fit back into some clothes without having to lay on the bed and suck in my tummy to button my pants! I am sure I will be just fine. I just want to take off about 25 more pounds.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Where is my Sanity???

I think I lost it when we brought the twins home from the hospital or maybe it was the day I had Mollie or maybe it was the day I got married or maybe even it was lost the day I was born. Some day I feel like the day is not long enough and other days I feel like I the day needs to hurry up and be over. Today is one of those (hurry up and be over) days. I think today could have possibly been one of the worst days of my life. I don't really want to go into details but let me just say it was BAD!!! Tomorrow will be better I am sure! I know that tomorrow is "Lunch in the Park" and I know that tomorrow today will be over.

So when do you start feeding your baby/ies jar food? When do babies sleep thru the night? At what age do babies start to sit up? At what age do they start to crawl? I am such a horrible mother that I can't remember when I did this stuff with Mollie. I think I fed her bananas at 2 and 1/2 months and I know that she cut her first tooth on 4th of July, 2003 and that she took her first steps 3 days before her first birthday and she was walking by her 1st birthday. I really would like to know when the twins will stop being so boring and start entertaining me! I mean I enjoy my babies but man are they boring. They just eat, poop, pee, sleep and cry and then repeat. I mean I want for them to entertain themselves if even for 10 minutes so I can take a shower. I am hoping that in the next month things will start to get a little better. Maybe that is wishful thinking.

I think I want to go back to school. I want to get a degree even if it is an Associates Degree. I want some sort degree that has to do with Education. I always wanted to be a Kindergarten Teacher. But the man upstairs had other plans for me. Now I think since I am staying home I should but myself to work and go back to school. What is the process? How will we afford it? Can I do it?

Sunday, May 27, 2007

So long Sunday....

What a busy day I have had.....This morning it was church, which I must say was a very wonderful sermon. They had an Honor Guard there to present the colors and then they played the "theme song" for each branch of service and asked that if you were serving or had served to stand up when your "theme" played. Of course they played the Marine Corps. Hymn last (Clint says they saved the best for last!!) and Clint stood up. Then we came home after church and I changed all the girls and then I loaded up the kids and headed out to my Aunt Cindy's house for a cook out/pool party! Mollie swam all afternoon and the babies got much attention from all the family. Clint was at home getting ready for his night job! When I got home I worked on the massive cleaning my house is getting. It felt nice to get a little decorating in! We have been in this house almost a year and there is very little decorating!

So now I am at home watching Extreme Home Makeover. Why do I watch shows like this? I am going to get up here and wash the few dishes that are dirty and make some Sweet Tea. I love me some Sweet Tea! The twins are laying on the couch with me and I jsut heard Katelyn let out two massive farts! That girl is soooo gassy!

I am going to start counting down the days until our family vacation. We are going to Little Rock Arkansas on July 11th. We are taking all the kids and Clint's sister Dustee and her new husband Greg are coming down with their three kids, Lauren, J.D. and Kain! We are all looking forward to getting together for fun times and some R&R! Clint's dad has an inground pool and lots of land. I bet the kids will have a blast. I will have a blast too! Hope the weather is nice while we are there!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Congratulations Rachel!


Rachel is my future sister-in-law. She is dating my brother Josh who is in the Marine Corps. She is off to Longwood College with the goal to become an Art Teacher. Well anyways, she had her graduation party today and the girls and I went. She lives on Lake Anna so Mollie got to get wet and I got to visit with some friends and the babies just got held all afternoon long. Plus my brother was home on leave so it was great to see him!


When I got home, my whole downstairs was clean. Clint has been one busy man. He has organized and rearranged and my house is looking great.

What a great weekend so far. Hope the rest of the holiday is this good!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Just like Shrek the Third.....


So I had the girls in two of their bouncers because it is easy to feed both of them that way. After I was done feeding them, I went into the kitchen to rinse out their bottles and came back to find a third baby in a bouncer. I questioned Mollie who told me that we needed to have "Triplets just like Shrek the Third." Here is my newest baby. Thank goodness she never gets hungry and sleeps thru the night!

Is this my life?!?!?!?!

While starting my morning chores, I started thinking so I had to come to my BLOG and type my thoughts. In my head they sounded great but not sure how they will come out as I type.

OK here I go.....Is this my life or am I just dreaming? I mean have I become something I never wanted to be? Am I really a married mother of three who drives the SUV to soccer practice on Saturday and strives to be the PTA President? Am I "THAT" mom who pushes her children to much? Am I trying to be something I am not? Do I wish that I had something else than what I have? I want a clean house, I want well mannered and respectable children. I want to have dinner at the kitchen table instead of in front of the T.V. I want to make well balanced and healthy meals for my family. I want a marriage with no trouble. I want to have a savings account that has "rainy day" money. I want to fit in!

I don't know if I am going thru some baby blues or stress for having two infants. I don't know which way I am coming or going. I don't know what we are having for dinner tonight let alone what I am going to eat for lunch. I think about the arguments that I have with my husband, with my family and think WHY? Did I need to say the words that hurt them so much. Clint and I have joined a church that we really like. One thing that I have really worked on is my relationship with God. I want my kids to experience church and all the wonderful things that a relationship with God has to offer. I want to take them to Bible School in the summer and for them to enjoy it as much as I did as a child. Sometimes I just want to go back to those days. I think maybe 7, that was a good age. I want to be able to give my kids everything they need and want. I want to have the day planner with sports games and school activities on it. Am I wanting to much? Am I trying to push to hard?

I want a great relationship with my husband. I want "us" back. I want to stop the fighting and nit picking. I want make him proud. I want him to have a wife that he can say great things about and not wonder why he married me. I want to get up and pack him a lunch and give him the kiss good bye. I want to have dinner ready for him and for him to want to eat it. I would love for him to stop sleeping on the couch because that is the only place he can get some rest. I want us to do things together again. I want him to love me the way he used to.

Maybe I am seeing things all wrong. Maybe I am doing a good job with my family. Maybe my family is happy with the way things are. Maybe everything is OK. Maybe I am just emotional. Maybe I am overreacting to things. Maybe I should just take a nap.

TGIF & A Holiday Weekend!

Not that it matters to me because I don't leave the home to go to work but at least Clint will be able to be home Monday! We don't have anything planned that I know of but at least we can get things done around here. We really want a babysitter for a weekend for all three girls so maybe Clint and I can get away. We know we will never find one because everyone only wants one baby at time!

We survived our parade! Jennifer and I waited at the end with the babies for the older girls to be done with the parade. They looked great. Mollie did so good. She walked the entire route by herself.




Clint and I got into a little disagreement this morning. I am tired of him talking about the "what ifs" and the "could have beens" and the "if we only had...". So I snapped this morning. I told him "Don't we have anything to talk about besides the twins and the what if situations if we had a babysitter." I guess he is mad now. OH WELL....I just wish we could always get along. Why does it seem that life is so difficult? Why can't things be easier? I just wonder "WHY ME???"

The twins are starting to smile and mimic. The love to stick out their tounges! Peyton was smiling up a storm yesterday. I tried to snap a picture of her doing it but she is so quick to change her facial expressions. Here are the pictures that I got!



Well it's time to wake the twins up and start our day! Mollie gets out of school early today so we must get ready!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Schedules....

So I thought that I was doing good with schedules for the twins. I mean I did everything at the same time for each of them. If one got fed so did the other, if one got a new diaper, so did the other. So tell me why for the last 3 nights, Katelyn has gotten up at 2 a.m. and then she just wants to stay up. Peyton, however, has slept until 4 a.m. Is there a trick? Is there a magic wand that I have to wave to make them sleep thru the night? I can't remember how long it took Mollie to sleep thru the night when she was little but I don't remember being this tired. I think Mollie came home from the hospital sleeping thru the night! Maybe I am just kidding myself. When does this get easier? I feel like this will never end. I am a walking zombie! I still have to manage a nap today because Mollie has a parade tonight and going to a parade sucks the life out of me!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Look at my Twirler!!


Mollie has been doing Baton since September. She has been a several parades and here is a picture of her "Summer Uniform". She has a parade in Culpeper tomorrow so we were making sure the outfit fit! Doesn't she look cute!
Photobucket Album

I just want to scream because.....


The babies are crying for no reason. They are clean, fed and well rested. What else am I supposed to do? I have them in their bouncers but they just aren't happy with that either. They even got rice cereal today!


I have managed to load the dishwasher and eat a quick bite. How do people do it? I mean, you know people who have twins or more and keep their house clean, have a hot dinner for their families, be a super mom and still look great when then go out in public? I can even manage to fold one load of clothes. I gave Mollie hotdogs for dinner last night and I felt so bad because that should not be a dinner.
Maybe tonight I can get a little rest because Clint will be home!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Today is the first day.....


So I have decided that I want a blog. Everyone else has one and I guess it is the "cool" thing to do. My daughter Mollie is 4 and my twin daughters were born on April 6, 2007. I am going to start this by talking about me. I am now a Stay at Home mom of 3 wonderful daughters. I miss my job and the friends I had there but I love being with my kiddos! I love my husband too!

My Mollie is super smart and becoming more and more grown every day. She goes to Pre-School everyday and she has learned so much this school year. She has also been doing baton and soccer. She enjoys both activities and I hope that she continues to like doing fun activities. My twins are Peyton Nicole and Katelyn Elizabeth. Peyton looks more like me and acts even more like me. Katelyn looks just like her daddy and is a baby that just wants to snuggle. Speaking of "daddy", he is fabulous. He is so good with the girls. He is just super tired because he is working two jobs. That was better than me going back to work. I do miss him being here to see the girls and help me with them sometimes but he says he is doing what is best for his family.

Today the girls and I went to "Lunch in the Park" with my friend, Amanda. She has the cutest little red head, Ada. Ada is a year old and so sweet. It was nice. It is even nicer to know I can still have a life and friends. I enjoy doing things with the kids. They are getting so big.

I can't wait to take a vacation this summer. We are going to my Father-in-Law's house. He lives in Little Rock Arkansas. I can't wait to go down there to be around Clint's family. It will be nice to go on a family vacation.

Tonight is American Idol and the Finale of Dancing with the Stars! So I am off to watch what I have stored on the Tivo!